What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why am I so unproductive when it's a holiday the next day?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

{RING} {RING}

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Is something wrong with my discharge? So, when I masturbate, white discharge comes from my vagina, but it's not stretchy, it's pasty. It doesn't smell and I'm not itchy, so I'm sure it's not a yeast infection. Why is it pasty though?

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Yes sir it is.

What exactly is the boundary men should follow while looking at girls so they don't call them perverts?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

After a few moments he returns.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

How did your marriage end?

Sure no problem officer.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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